


habitual

by boojisol26



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Fluff, Lowercase, M/M, Supernatural Elements, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-30 02:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18306689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boojisol26/pseuds/boojisol26
Summary: in which hansol is always waiting for his kwannie.





	habitual

**in which hansol will wait for seungkwan.**

 

_even if you get lost_

_and it takes you a while_

_come round and round back to me_

_even if it's far ahead in the future_

 

✧

 

the music boomed inside the practice room as hansol panted on the floor. he had just stayed up alone until the early morning- he couldn't even tell what time it was anymore -to practice for their next stage since he was struggling a bit with the current choreography. the stress of their debut date getting closer was not helping.

as he laid on the floor, he figured he was done for the day, satisfied that he polished quite a bit of his parts. jeonghan was supposed to stay up with him, but the long haired male had been too drowsy in the end (read: since he had been pulling an inhumane amount of all nighters that can rival jihoon's) and ended up getting dragged back to the dorms by seungcheol and jisoo. hansol huffed, opting to go shower before returning to his dorm room himself.

man, he couldn't wait to go back to bed. the thought made something in his gut twist, giddy feelings sending burning sensations to his mark. he stared at the 'bs' shaped mark in light blue, the running water only adding a bit more sting to it. he couldn't care less, not when the thought of kwan filled his mind. his heart skipped beats loudly in his chest. 

he was ready to go back to dreamland. the only problem was that as he stepped out of the showers, the sun was slowly rising back up.

hansol groaned, already knowing he would no longer be able to go back to his bed. he made a mental note to sort out his schedule and his priorities next time before sluggishly opting to head towards the kitchen for some coffee.

he passed by jisoo who was on his way to wake up the others, seungcheol in tow like a lost puppy. hansol chuckled at the leaders antics. seungcheol had a habit of following his soulmates around no matter where whenever disoriented, especially after waking up.

hansol's heart ached in an unknown way as he stared at his elders, yet he knew what caused it. he'd just have to be patient enough to survive through the day.

hansol greeted the duo politely when he remembered something.

"josh, when's the new guy coming again?" hansol asked jisoo in english, momentarily forgetting seungcheol's lack of english skills. he stopped dead on his tracks, waiting for jisoo to answer. he forgot the name of the new guy- boo, was it? the last guy to form seventeen. it wasn't like he was paying attention either, but he was sure he's heard of it before somewhere. he really had to work on taking off his headphones more often.

jisoo looked up in thought before he shrugged. exasperated at his hyung's antics, hansol stared at him in indignance. jisoo huffed out a laugh, quickly changing the subject, suddenly seeming interested in hansol's recent dream occurrences. 

hansol glanced nervously towards seungcheol who was now clinging to jisoo's arm like his life depended on it. the only one who knew about them, who he absolutely trusted to keep their mouth shut behind his back was jisoo. he knew the older boy only meant well- well maybe not without a little teasing. needless to say, hansol was relieved to find the leader disoriented as ever, spacing out. he shook his head before bee-lining to the kitchen, ignoring his hyung calling out to him with a hint of mirth laced in his voice. he prefers to keep those things to himself for as long as he can otherwise. god knows what will happen once it spreads around the dorm.

a couple minutes later, after a cup of hot chocolate was sitting snug in his hand, he went back to bed, scrolling through his feed. the gods must favor him to have his hyungs decide to make it a rest day for them, they weren't going to have practice until late in the afternoon.

lee chan, the only one younger than him now that samuel's gone, shuffled from where his head rested on his abdomen. he looked up to hansol from the book he was holding, silent in thought. hansol stopped scrolling, an eyebrow raising as he waited for the younger to speak.

"hyung?" chan called out absentmindedly, to which hansol hummed in reply. when he focused enough, he asked, "what's it like for you?"

"what's what like?"

"having a soulmate?" hansol pretended his head didn't spin when the words slipped past the other boy's lips. a hand subconsciously came up to his right wrist to touch the itching mark. "you know, they say it's different for everyone."

hansol almost forgot it wasn't only him. seungcheol, seokmin and chan were late bloomers as well. but of course, signs were already starting to show for them. hansol didn't want to feel left out, he didn't want to admit his soulmate was a no show at the moment, so he kept it hidden from the others for as long as he could, with the exception of jisoo.

hansol didn't think he was silent for a long time, but chan took his silence as an answer. he stood up, not before giving his hyung a knowing look.

chan left the room quietly, telling him to rest well for the rest of the afternoon. hansol promised to do just that, comforted with the knowledge that his dongsaeng understood. he was almost drifting off to sleep, on the way to see his kwannie. that is, until he'd heard shuffling from across the room, on top of another bunk. deciding to stay quiet instead of leaving since he thought he couldn't be bothered more, he realized he made a mistake.

there was a thump, followed by a forced giggle that sounded very like mingyu, and he guessed he was probably getting a quickie from his mate. wonwoo shushed the other boy, now aware of the second hand embarrassment they tried hard not to make for themselves. 

it wasn't that hansol felt awkward being in the same room while that happened, you'd laugh at how often that happens inside the dorms at any given time. he just wished it didn't happen in that particular time. he was so tired, damnit.

"mingyu hyung, you left the ramen on the stove!" chan yelled from outside. hansol never thanked the gods enough for him. "i think it's too soggy now!"

mingyu yelped, glaring at a cackling wonwoo before he typically dashed to the kitchen. he could swear he heard something crash along the way. wonwoo went after him, probably to make sure mingyu stays safe amidst all of this. hansol went back to trying to just a bit of sleep, but not without feeling emptier than before.

one thing was for sure, hansol was jealous of them. 

hansol vernon chwe was as sappy as an ant can be, he admitted. all he wanted was to be loved and to be inlove, but he might have done something to anger the gods in the past because he was sure he isn't getting one anytime soon. he was so sure he would get a soulmate before too, since his family on either of his parents' sides did so as they come of age.

at the age of thirteen, he was supposed to have already gotten his soul mark. the day he turned a teen, he waited, and waited, and waited. but hours passed and there was still nothing. his friends came by to greet him later on, but he ended up snapping on them as they tried to figure out what was wrong. at the end of the day, he gave up.

at fourteen, hansol was sure he would never get a soul mark, so he tried for the second best possible option: match making. the act may seem absurd in a soulmate ruled world, but not impossible. 

the act was initially made for those whose soulmate either died or never existed. hansol was once again sure this was his fate, even if he resented it quite a bit. artificial soul marking has quite a lot of downsides to it. one of which is to never be able to change his soulmate, no matter how bad or bitchy or assholey the other person is. and there's also a chance that your significant would stop loving you after a short time of being together since the process is only artificial.

at that point though, he was desperate. so he tried it. only to be disappointed once more. 

it wasn't that he was not compatible with anyone, no, it's quite the opposite. the machine refused to work only because his destined one is still alive and thriving, but not for him. his destined one was too busy living his life to give a damn about love, about him, the match makers told him. 

hansol stayed in and drowned himself in work and practice the week later. he guessed he became more like jihoon hyung at that point. one time jeonghan even had to come in the practice room only to convince him to have breakfast with them.

despite all that, he preened at the fact that he had a soulmate after all. 

when he turned fifteen, vernon started to have the dreams. they're not normal dreams either, they were lucid. hansol didn't know whether he should be more scared or enthusiastic about it.

it happens quite often, too, a few times a week to be more precise. and it all consist of the same person. kwan.

at first, he thought kwan was a random boy made up by his mind to cure his ever lonely heart. an ideal boy only made to ease his heartache. it's like when kids gain an imaginary friend in the movies. but when he keeps seeing him in his dreams, he couldn't help but gain a wistful thinking that his kwannie was real. 

he also happened to notice a mark glowing bright pink in the inside of his wrist. to this day, he hoped kwan was the cause of it all.

kwan was everything hansol ever wanted. he was smart, funny per say, willing to do anything just to go along with hansol's weird antics, and he's a gorgeous even with red hair. his ass can rival beyonce's if he's being totally honest, kwan is the full package. you can tell how much hansol was in love with him with just one look. 

hansol knew he would give up everything for kwan. a mere figment of his imagination. it's already been two years since the day they've met, and he was still enraptured by the other boy.

hansol was awakened by his cheol hyung gathered them up to discuss the events of the day, but hansol zoned out once more. he sure enough missed atleast one of the important announcement, but nobody could tell. his mind was filled with thoughts of seeing him again. he smiled to himself. it was a fairly normal day.

except it wasn't. for the entirety of the day- or evening, since they woke him up really late, hansol felt uneasy, without reason. he was always one to follow his instincts, so he naturally would think twice about staying in bed before anything happened, though the thought of more practice on his back just filled his mind with stress, just as it happened the night before, so he continued. not that it helps, they're only always about practice, practice, _practice. ___

____

____

seungcheol ushered them to practice not long after. 

out of all the members, hansol made the most mistakes. seokmin forced him to sit out not long after his later mishap, concern etched in his features. "what's wrong?"

he felt a sting on his arm, but he decided to ignore it. it's probably from his little scene earlier.

"nothing hyung." he said, feeling his heart ache uncomfortably. seokmin stared, his usual cheeky grin not present. "i'm just tired." and he was left alone.

joshua approached him with a knowing look after a third round on the chorus. they smiled at each other, and hansol felt a little better.

"jisoo!" some one yelled behind joshua, an arm pulling him back before jeonghan clung onto him like a koala. hansol's smile wavered.

he looked away quickly, just as the two shared a kiss, and wished his kwan was with him for the umpteeth time.

"hey hansol," jeonghan greeted, taking a seat first next to hansol. he knew junghan's motherly instincts are kicking in again. he was too close for comfort, but vernon was used to it. "what's wrong? you look like you're in pain." 

jisoo glanced at him in concern, hansol knew that he knew. but josh kept quiet. everyone else were either listening to their conversation or doing something akin to pseudo entertainment.

hansol felt for his hand nervously under all the intense stares he was recieving, before shaking his head. "i'm alright hyung, just a bit tired. didn't have enough coffee to last me this morning." he lied through his teeth, rubbing his stinging arm.

in truth, nobody bought his lame excuses. but guessing by his tone, they knew he wanted some time to keep for himself, so they let him be. you would guess that in a place where twelve boys live in, there would be no privacy at all, but with them, it was the opposite. they respect each other and know to some degree what each other needs. and hansol needs space, so that he gets.

jeonghan nodded in defeat, albeit a little suspicious, before turning to gossip with jisoo, who happily shared his tea, those snakes. 

it's late and he's walking towards the corner store alone to buy some milk when the sting in his arm intensified. apparently it doesn't go away unless it gets exposed in cold, cold air. hansol took off his hoodie in annoyance, going to the nearest bench.

he stopped, mouth hanging open in shock.

he stared at the glowing bright pink in awe. hansol felt like he could cry happy tears in the middle of the sidewalk. he blinked his eyes, making sure that the mark he was seeing was real. the tip of his fingers brushed past it before he hissed. it hurt, but it was real nonetheless. he looked around, but no one was there. it must have been a split second, a moment's interaction, but he couldn't help but feel disappointed when he didn't see his soulmate anywhere within the area. god knows how long he stayed out just to find them.

he gave up after thinking that it would be best if he looked for them the morning after. looking for them at night, with his arm in pain and his drowsy self was not the best option, so he ran straight back, forgetting why he was out in the first place.

the next decision he makes after that was probably the stupidest one he's ever made. as soon as he made it back to the dorms, he didn't bother fixing himself, didn't bother answering the questions his hyungs interrogated him with, opting to proceed to go to sleep. it didn't take long to fall into dreamland this time.

"kwannie!" he yelled out loud excitedly to the trees. forest was their theme for the day.

"yeah?" the sweet voice he loved to hear at night yelled back to him. "i'm up here."

hansol looked up at one of the trees, smiling charmingly as he begins to climb. it never fails to make the other boy blush. he settled behind kwan after making sure the branch is safe and immediately placed his chin on top of kwannie's hair. arms wrapped around kwan's torso, hansol hugging him from behind. they did that on instinct, a daily routine. one that neither of them would ever get tired of.

hansol turned his kwan's head so he could kiss him. kwan moaned in surprise, a hand finding its way to his hair as the kiss intensified. he was double thinking his decision to spill the truth, but he knew lying had its own consequences. he tried to make the kiss last while he can, savoring it 'til the last taste.

when they parted, he felt his heart speeding up, and he could tell kwan felt it too as he hummed to it in synch. 

"is there something you want to talk about?" the boy smiled softly, so unlike the vibrant, playful kwannie he always knew. he knew something serious was coming up, and hansol was grateful. hansol turned him around so he was facing him fully, staring at his eyes. oh, the eyes he loves so much. he decided he couldn't bare to see them while he confessed.

he laid his head on kwan's shoulder, enjoying the feeling of kwan's hands combing through his hair. for a moment, he wished he was actually awake. damnit.

he was tense as he told his kwannie what had happened. the other boy seemed to freeze, eyes as cold as his heart felt at the moment. and then he was pushed away.

hansol stopped talking when he realized the bright boy was no longer as bright as the sun, features clouded as tears dropped from his eyes. hansol's breath caught up in his throat. he denied truthfully, remorsefully when kwan asked if it was only a joke, but said nothing else.

"h-how... i thought you were... i thought i was..." kwan was mumbling incoherently, gasping and choking on his own tears, disorganized with his thoughts and it was so out of character that hansol wished he never said what he did a second ago. he was so, _so _stupid.__

____

____

he didn't know what to do next, especially when the last thing he remember was seungkwan slipping away from him as he got out of unconsciousness. hansol cursed himself for being such a light sleeper. all he remembers was that one of his hyungs, jihoon he guessed, woke him up after thrashing around in the bed with a tear streaked face. he felt a pang in his heart. he wanted his kwannie to comfort him, not his hyungs.only then did it occur to him that maybe, kwan was real after all.

a week has passed, and hansol felt like he was dying. he didn't see kwan again, no matter how hard he tried. it was like their connection was broken off. his soul mark hurt more than ever, but he didn't care. he couldn't care less about finding them, not when the one he loves is nowhere to be found himself.

for once in his life, he wished he never had a mark.

it's one of those nights when they have all just finished practice, exhausted and collapsed on the floor of the practice room, when he finally told his other hyungs everything that had been troubling him in the last couple of days. he found solace in confiding in them during the other times he struggled, and he decided he couldn't really go through his current dilemma alone. so he spilled the truth, pouring his heart out and feeling his shoulders lift a little like a load was just removed from it.

"so that's why you've been acting strange lately." seokmin huffed out a laugh, which caused hansol to groan loudly. 

"i'm sure he'll come around, if this kwannie is who _we _think he is, i'm sure you'll both find a way to fix this." seungcheol said from where he sat in the corner. he sounded much more troubled and exhausted than anyone in the room himself, but no one pointed it out. they agreed with him, exchanging a look that hansol was the only one who didn't catch onto.__

____

____

"how can you say that for sure? you guys don't even know him." he stated, annoyed.

"you love him don't you?" jihoon retorted. he sounded like he had just explained how two plus two worked out, but to hansol, it sounded like algebra. he hated algebra.

"and that says something because...?" almost everyone turned to him with an 'are you actually that dumb?' look, but hansol, too, was exasperated with their antics. 

wonwoo huffed, leaning back to link his hands with mingyu's. "hansol, if a boat is sinking, with only the three of you on board, will you save your soulmate who you never actually met or the one you really love?"

soonyoung turned to wonwoo, punching his side lightly. "you poetic little shit."

hansol decided right then that he didn't want to wait for his soulmate anymore, he wasn't sure why he wanted to in the first place. now he wanted to wait for his kwannie to come back instead.

a month later, he still didn't have any form of communication with the elder boy. all the free time he could obtain- which wasn't much considering they were about to enter the stage of preparing for their debut -he slept. again, he waited, and waited, and waited. but no one came. there were even times when he'd cry himself to sleep. he was starting to believe that maybe kwan was just his imagination after all. he used to know that for a fact.

the other members were getting worried by the day, but hansol tried to persevere best as he can. he brushed them off whenever one of them started asking _those _type of questions. he couldn't take it, so he averted their attention- tried to, at least. every single time.__

____

____

and he knew he was going crazy. especially when the day the last member of their group arrived to do the first introductions in the practice room, he thought he saw a tuft of brown hair which used to belong to his love, and his favourite hoodie, and his chubby cheeks, and his-

oh.

it hit him hard, leaving him dizzy with desire and satisfaction and happiness all at the same time- everything suddenly made sense. his mark glowed a lighter shade of pink- rose quartz, was it? and then he felt it. the 'bs' in his mark stood for boo seungkwan, his kwannie, and the dreams were their way of finding each other. hansol felt every troublesome thought he had leave his body in an attempt to find comfort in the arms of his boo. 

he really was an idiot. and he was whipped.

hansol inched closer, not minding how kwan- no _seungkwan _flinched a little when their eyes locked. his sanity be damned, but he'd die before he'd let himself lose seungkwan again. he couldn't care less if his band mates stood by and watched him out of curiosity, it's not like these stuff are even hidden in between all of them.__

____

____

just as seungkwan turned to run from the scene, hansol grabbed his hand, turning him around before he can say anything, expertly avoiding seungkwan's hand that was just about to hit his cheek. 

seungkwan stared at him in genuine surprise, frozen like the last time hansol saw him. 

"hey," hansol whispered softly, trying to ease the tension on his soulmate's body. a smile slowly presented itself on his face as he kissed him. "my boo."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i have written a draft for the next three parts but they're only just drafts. i don't know. this world got too complicated that i feel i have some parts to elaborate in the future. maybe. for now, i'm marking this as complete because i'm not sure if they will still be written, but i'll try my best! please give feedback, it would be highly appreciated :D


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